What do you call a loathsome scandalous raunchy woman with a black infected poisonous heart with mutated maggots escaping out of the deep rooted crevices of shame and deceit?
Jenny - my ex-wife.
I sent Jenny a text asking for some school uniforms. Below is our text conversation. It is difficult to follow her texts, and believe me that is exactly how they were sent - it took me about 37 minutes to try and properly type out exactly what she said so I could write to you today. It took me so long because I kept spelling the words correctly. My bad.:
Me:
Can you pack school clothes for Becky with socks? Thanks
We will be at the boardwalk all day then i will drop her off....tomorrow i will try to bring them...she has a cough...just started it...so watch her tnight and give her meds if neede....i will not have another episode like last time taking her t the er. We will b there at 6
Some background so you can better understand the texts.
About three months ago, Becky (our youngest) fell ill with flu like symptoms. I put my record shattering employee of the year award dream on hold as I stayed home with her for two days. She had a temperature but it was stable and she was holding down her fluids. When her mom came to pick her up in the evening after work, I told her that we should call the doctor in the morning if her fever hadn't broke. Well her mom freaked out and decided to take her to the Emergency Room. I told her she doesn't need to go the Emergency Room. She told me she was taking her no matter what I said and that was that.
Turns out Becky had Swine Flu. So because Satan's Mistress thinks that Swine Flu is Hitler with a personal vendetta out for our children she felt vindicated in taking her to ER and told me I should thank her.
Why should I thank someone for taking her to ER when you're not supposed to? Anyways...
Me:
You don't give cough medicine to children and you don't take kids to ER for flu symptoms, but as always, I will take care of Becky
Grammar Queen (aka Satan's Mistress):
U dont give children cough meds...but sane people do...she is fine taking kids cough meds and um hello she had the swine flu u idiot! U do take kids in to the er..just for that reason! God ur stupid! I cant trust u with becky...i cant...
No leave us alone.....U r such an idiot!
Really? I'm the idiot? So then why did medical news today say don't take your kids to ER for Swine Flu? They must be idiots too.
Me:
Cough and cold medicine are no longer recommended by most major medical organization as they have been responsible for the deaths of many children.
Swine flu was only a life & death issue for people with chronic medical conditions - maybe you should educate yourself.
Links:
KAPOW!
ZOK!!!!
WHAM!!!
SPLOOSH!!!
That's right. I bitched slapped her old school Batman style baby.
Grammar Queen (aka Satan's Mistress):
Maybe u shld....u r an idiot... I will not allow becky to suffer unlike u! U allowed her to for days...oh she has the swine flu!Go kick rocks u idiot!
No leave me alone let me enjoy my day with her dr. Rex...hahahahah dr.idiot is more ike it!
Whew... that was difficult. Let me try to translate what she was saying.
For those of you who do not live in the Ghetto, who's I.Q. has dropped since leaving me, and currently has a 3rd world boyfriend, not to mention not having higher than a 10th grade education even in today's society - let me retype the text messages out.
Only this time, I will take the liberty to translate the text into English:
Me:
Can you pack school clothes for Becky with socks? Thanks
Grammar Queen (aka Satan's Mistress):
I will ignore the beautiful daughter whom was produced by your mighty sperm as she is coughing so I can take her to the beach where it is windy and cold. I will attempt to drag my lazy ass out of bed and wonder away from my flea infested boyfriend so I can drop off clothes that I have obviously stolen from you. I have not paid attention to the news for over 4 years as they have discussed the dangers of cough medicine as I have continuously lied and cheated on you like a 5 cent hooker, so please give her cough medicine. I would prefer to not make the same mistake again by taking her to the Emergency Room, but I will if I have to. We will arrive at your humble residence by 6pm.
Me:
You don't give cough medicine to children and you don't take kids to ER for flu symptoms, but as always, I will take care of Becky
People that actually have an IQ higher than lice found on my boyfriends pubic hair do not give their children cough medicine. However, I do. Becky had Influenza A (H1N1) virus which is a subtype of influenza A virus and it only takes a few minutes to look up the symptoms, mortality rate, and treatment to realize that it's no different from the common flu, but that is why you take them to ER, so those that really need emergency care can get infected. God you are stupid.
Please leave us alone so we can continue our day at the windy cold shores of the ocean while our daughter has a cough.
Me:
Cough and cold medicine are no longer recommended by most major medical organization as they have been responsible for the deaths of many children.
Swine flu was only a life & death issue for people with chronic medical conditions - maybe you should educate yourself.
Links:
KAPOW!
ZOK!!!!
WHAM!!!
SPLOOSH!!!
Grammar Queen (aka Satan's Mistress):
Maybe u shld....u r an idiot... I will not allow becky to suffer unlike u! U allowed her to for days...oh she has the swine flu!Go kick rocks u idiot!
No leave me alone let me enjoy my day with her dr. Rex...hahahahah dr.idiot is more ike it!
Even with my vast knowledge of ghetto talk, the last message was impossible to translate.
How can someone be so dumb? How does she manage to put her clothes on? We already know she is great at taking them off for just anyone who walks by. Maybe she can't type a complete thought because her juicy meat stick of a finger no longer carries the ring of deceit I lovingly gave her so long ago.
Have you ever wondered what where you thinking to have married and/or be with your ex?
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